Well it 5:40am and I can't sleep I got home last night at 7:30pm.. This was one of the most toughest weeks yet..Due to the Chemo being 10x stronger than the last stuff i was so ill I didnt eat or drink anything for two days which caused my kidneys to slow down and i became dehydrated.. I have come to terms with emotions at this point as well and have broke down a few times. Deep in my heart I know I am going to make it through this its just the fight at this point which is making we weak..
The tough part is looking at myself in the mirror because the reflection I see is not me....and every time I look at myself I feel like a piece of me is dying.. the first day I walked in Dana Farber and saw a girl about my age who was bald and wearing her mask and hat I prayed that I would not get that far into and well the reality has set it.. I am a Cancer patient.. I the looks are all vanity but you only feel as good as you look and right now I look like shit!!
At this point I have the next two weeks off then I am back in there again for one more treatment and now that I know what to expect it makes it 10x harder for me...So I will build up the strength i need and i will get through it with a little help from my friends!!
love you all
Danielle
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